My Little Bully
The last couple weeks I have been watching a 4 year old boy a few days a week for a friend of mine. I thought that since school is out for a few months it would be great to have a friend for my son to play with since his little brother is still much too little.
He is so excited for him to come over each day but shortly after he arrives my son starts getting really jelous. He never did this when his brother was born and up until now I have never witnessed him act this way towards anyone. He argues with everything he says or does. If the boy says his popsicle is red, my son will say no it’s not its blue. He says mean things to him sometimes and tries to make stuff up to come tattle on him for. Don’t get me wrong they do play well and have a lot of fun. He is normally very kind towards everyone so this is definitely strange for him to act this way.
I know he is probably just adjusting and it’s hard at that age to share your mom, house, toys, etc. but I really need to find a solution. I am afraid he is going to be a litlle bully. So I need your help. Especially all you teachers I am sure you experience this kind of behavior all the time. What do I do when he acts this way?
Posted: June 16th, 2008 under Behavior.
Comments: 6
Comments
Comment from Pam
Time: June 16, 2008, 12:49 pm
well, what I have done in the past/in my classroom is to try to recognize and praise all the good things he does- focus on when he does share, etc. You can even start a sticker chart with him. For each time he shares or plays by following your rules, he can earn a sticker as a reward. Make sure you clearly explain what will/will not be tolerate. Make sure he knows that arguing isn’t allowed, but coming to talk to you about a problem is okay if he is upset about the situation. That way he will clearly know what behaviors will earn the reward. Of course there are time when you need to follow up on the negative behaviors as well. In those cases, I usually remove the child from the situation….for example, I would say something like “If you are not going to follow the rule/play nice/whatever it is….then you can’t use the play dough right now. Please find something else to play until you are ready to share again.” If that doesn’t work- I use a time out. But, I try to focus on the positives and recognize the good things more. For every negative behavior, try to find two or three good ones to focus on. Keep the balance in the positive and not the negative. I hope that all made sense. Another thing I try to do is give choices. you can choose to share or you can fins something else to play with. That way the child has made the decision on his behavior. Good luck and keep us posted!!
Comment from Holly
Time: June 16, 2008, 1:40 pm
I can’t offer any help, but I sympathize! I am going to be watching my friend’s son a couple days a week when she returns to school in the fall, and I wonder how the boys will get along when they’re together all day and competing for my attention.
Comment from Kellan
Time: June 16, 2008, 2:51 pm
I’m not the best person to offer advise, but I would suggest just showing him moments of his own special attention and diversions – I’m the queen of coming up with diversions and distractions.BR/BR/Good luck. Thanks for stopping by today – nice to see you. See you soon – Kellan
Comment from Marmarbug
Time: June 17, 2008, 10:14 am
yikes. Sounds like Bean. He gets like that with his younger cousin.BR/I think that your son feels that this little boy is competition. Also he is on his turf. So it sounds like you son is just marking his territory (sorry for the dog references)BR/I suggest waiting until the boy has left for the night and then talking to your son.BR/Good luck!!!
Comment from Amanda
Time: June 17, 2008, 12:24 pm
i can definitely relate…but elizabeth is a jealous/bossy two year old…not four. i find i just need to stay consistent and maintain discipline. we work hard with elizabeth to talk about her heart…that she needs to have a loving heart…obviously with a four year old he can comprehend a bit more than elizabeth!
Comment from Dana
Time: June 17, 2008, 2:31 pm
I’m with Pam.. I use a reward system in my class… Try rewarding him for doing the right thing or making the right choice by sharing.. You chould create a chart together.. He could get a sticker or stamp for every great day he has or for every great choice he makes.. When the whole chart is filled up maybe he could earn a new toy or new book.. Or maybe extra special Mommy time.. Try that.. If that doesn’t work I’d stand your ground with discipline… Take him away from what he is doing – remove him from the situation if he can’r share and listen.You want to nip this in the bud before it gets worse..
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